The Seventh Commandment

I was doing some reading and also involved in some interesting conversations lately and it got me thinking about the topic of monogamy. I have very strong opinions on the subject. I want to make it clear that I’m not trying to make excuses for infidelity or even suggest that it is something that people should get over, I’m just stating my humble opinion and leaving it at that.

The Double Standard:

I want to start by acknowledging that in my mind there is a double standard. I’m not speaking for all human beings; I’m not even speaking for all males. I think the thoughts on this are specific to the individual. I’ve met girls that have this understanding that “boys will be boys” and to an extent have accepted the idea of potential betrayal. There are also females who feel like any kind of disloyalty is the end all be all of any relationship. This is one of those conversations that you and your partner should have.

From the beginning of time this double standard has existed. In one of those conversations that I was having with a group of friends, a guy said that he being unfaithful was not even a sin. Of course that statement threw the whole room for a loop. His words made me look further into what point he was trying to make. I’m not one to claim to have the bible memorized but I could have sworn that the seventh commandment was “Though shall not commit adultery”. I feel like that was one of the clearest of all the written commandments. I decided to go a little deeper and get a history lesson on how this commandment (law) was perceived in context. The ancient Hebrews in particular had a very restricted understanding of the concept and limited it to just sexual intercourse between a man and a woman who was either already married or at least betrothed. The marital status of the man was irrelevant. Thus, a married man was not guilty of “adultery” for having sex with an unmarried woman. In reality this commandment was not even implemented because of the morality of infidelity it was more so that family lineage’s could be clear and a certain identity of the father of the women’s children was there. This explanation was intriguing to me. It got me thinking was this the beginning of the double standard……….

Nah I think it is deeper than any social construct could create. I think there is inevitability to it all because of the genetic makeup of us all. I have made this argument many times before but I want to reiterate my stance; “Monogamy is not natural”. When I say natural, I mean that if it wasn’t for the social constructs implemented, men would not “naturally” or inherently find one woman and spend his whole life solely with her. My belief is more so that social monogamy does not necessarily imply sexual monogamy. I’m not saying that just because it’s not natural means it’s impossible. I’m just saying to perform this unnatural act will take an unnatural effort. I also want to be clear that “natural” does not imply good. Few people would argue that learning to play the violin is natural; after all, it takes years of dedication and hard work. "Doing what comes naturally" is easy. Any man who is aspiring to genuinely be monogamous is swimming upstream against his evolutionarily biological forces. As I said before I’m not using this idea as excuse for us males to be unfaithful or anything, I’m just serving some food for thought. Anyone who claims that he or she simply isn't "cut out" for monogamy misses the point: No one is. At the same time, no one's biology precludes monogamy either.



Just a thought