How to make it in the game.

30 Day Challenge. Day 12. Bullet your whole day.

Saturday June 25th.

12:00-2:00 am.; Was at a cookout at Janel Crib that turned into to drinks and grown folks talk. (FYI the kid did all the grilling earlier that night. Chef Vince).
2:30 am: Made it home and laid it down.
2:30- 9:30 am: ZZZZZZZ
9:30: Wake up, and got prepared for the day.
9:45-10 am: Drove to Providence Day High School (Go Chargers)
10am-2pm: Ran the Gym for my dads AAU basketball tournament, which consisted of everything from making sure all the teams knew what time they played to making sure the parents didn't tear each others heads off.
2pm-3pm: Lunch w/ a friend.
3pm-4pm: Home and get changed for the afternoon.
4pm-10pm: My homeboy Kevin's send off party. He just graduated from the Naval Academy and heading out to San Diego next week. Good time out there with old friends and good people.
10pm-Now: Home changing for the night out with Kev and some the fella's.

That was my Saturday.

30 Day Challenge. Day 11. First 10 songs that play on your Ipod.......

When I took my ipod out of my particular playlists I was suprised with everything I had in there, here we go;

1.) Beautiful Bliss. - Wale ft. J.Cole
2.) You Give me Something. - James Morrison
3.) Take one for the Team. - Kanye West ft. Pusha T, Cyhi the Prynce, and Keri Hilson
4.) Play Your Part. - Rick Ross ft. Wale
5.) Take you off the Market. - Phill Wade
6.) Sunday Morning. - Maroon 5
7.) To Deep for the Intro. - J. Cole
8.) Mesmorized. - Wiz Khalifa
9.) American Dreamin. - B.o.B.
10.) Be Here. -Raphael Saadiq

30 Day Challenge. Day 10 Discuss your first love.....

As far as my first love that is fairly simple. I won’t call names out of respect and privacy, I’ll just use “26” as a place holder. I will never forget when I first saw her. It was in Granville Towers in summer of ’06 (She had on a jean mini skirt and the most tantalizing pair of wedges). The crazy thing is that she wasn’t even there to see me. She had come to see one of my teammates. Yes I was HOT. I didn’t do anything ‘shysty’, I just let it run its course. I know this was not the most stable of beginnings but it was a beginning and that was enough for me. When I finally got my shot it was the 4^th of July. Coincidently we both wore the same shoes, all white Jordan IV’s (the last pair of J’s I ever saw her in) and we went to cold stone (Yep, she was the FIRST Cold stone date). We ended up missing the fireworks but we stayed in Granville parking lot for what had to be hours just talking about nothing and everything. That was my chance, and I probably did a horrible job but for some reason she kept me around. We continued to talk through the summer and into training camp. I was so excited when training camp came around, and she was coming to visit ME. Even though we just chilled outside the dorm making small talk, I don’t think she realized how much that meant at the time. Anybody who has been through a college training camp knows how much a visitor from the outside world can better your day. Once school started we had to go through that transition stage of getting used to being in college. I guess after a couple weeks of being on campus she realized there wasn’t another “Big” Vince walking around so she finally gave in, lol. It wasn’t until September 17 that I made it official (it was really the 16^th but I didn’t want our anniversary to be on my bday, lol, selfish). I think we had the average freshman year, childish relationship. I think Chapter 1 of the Vince & 26 saga lasted until about the beginning of December. I’m going to try to keep this entry positive so I will leave the reasons for the breaks-ups private. We finally reconciled sometime in late February and Chapter 2 began. My memory is a little fuzzy from about February freshman year until about thanksgiving of junior year, lol. All I know is there were a lot of separate chapters during that span but a lot of emotional attachment gained as well. I remember when I stepped off the ledge and finally said the “L” word. Of course the response I received was “that’s nice” or something of the sort, lol. I may have been a little premature with my statement but there was no doubt about how I felt. Eventually that feeling was mutual, and no matter what, there was always this belief that whatever the drama it would get worked out one way or another.

I remember when I was in a relationship with 26, I would always tell my boys “that if she isn’t the one, she’s the prototype”. Today I still think that but in a totally different way then what I meant initially. When I said it back then I meant it as literal as possible. If I couldn’t have her, I wanted somebody who possessed everything she did. That feeling has changed a little bit. Not to take anything from her, she is a great person, and I have a ton of respect for her, but when I say she is the prototype now, I mean the love I had for her is my prototype. I had the most unconditional love for 26. I don’t know where it came from, or if it was even deserved but it was a good feeling to know that I could love like that. No matter how upset I was or whatever, at the end of the day, I loved the heck out of this person. Even though she may no longer be the prototypical person, she is the prototypical love. The love that I gave is the prototype that feeling is the prototype. That can’t be faked. I’m happy to have been able to go through that, and I’m sure now that I know what it feels like to unconditionally love someone & what it feels like to be in love, that feeling is the prototype.

Just a thought.

30 Day Challenge. Day 9. What you want you future to be like.

What you want your future to be like.

I feel like I have already written this one on Day 2. I guess I will take a different take on it this time. I know when most people our age start thinking about their future; it’s all about their career. When I was in undergrad, I was the same way, not really because I feared not attaining my goal, but because I didn’t really have a clear goal. Now that I have a clear goal, I’m sure that continued hard work will get me there and my career will take care of itself. Now when I think about my future I think about my family. I guess the reason I think about that is because once again I don’t have a clear goal. I’ve been into goal setting since my youth and once I have a goal, I remove the worry, I just work towards it and things will fall in place as they may.

As far as thinking about my future and the future of my family  is a troubling thought. In terms of my family, I mean all aspects of it, my current family and my future family. I hope in my future I’m a lot more connected with my blood family. I hope that we can all be there to support each other and keep the family in good working order once some of the elders have passed on. I hope in my future my parents have a healthy and satisfying golden years. I hope they can get over their differences so they can be there to collectively support my sister and I. I hope my sister and I continue to support each other and work towards our individual goals. I just hope in the future I continue on the Jacobs legacy and take a step forward not a step back.

The future family that I’m most worried or uncertain of is my future immediate family (wife and children).  It’s just so uncertain to me. I have no idea who that woman will be. I have no idea what kind of children we will produce. That uncertainty is worrisome. It’s scary because of the lack of control I have over the situation. I have no control over what woman I will fall in love with. I have no control over what kind of children god blesses me with. I just have hopes. I know what kind of marriage I want to be a part of, I know what kind of parent I want to be, but the canvas of that portrait is so blank right now. I’m sure in the next few years pieces of the puzzle will start to fall in place but a good family life is what I hope my future will include.

Just a thought.

30 Day Challenge. Day 7. A moment when you felt most satisfied w/ your life.

A time when you where most satisfied with your life.

I know this may be a very cliché answer, but honestly right now is the happiest I have been with my life. I have had some great moments in this short life of mine so far. I have achieved a lot and experienced a lot. I’m proud of all of those moments and experiences and all of them have brought me different kind of joys. The thing that makes me the happiest though, is the trials that I’ve been through. I know during the trials were not the happiest moments but the results of the trials is what makes me the happiest today. I’m kind of using happiest and proudest interchangeably because that is the feelingI get when I think about what I’ve been through. I’m not one to claim that I’ve had the hardest life. The things that I have been through though,  I have handled with courage and persevered and the current result of that is me, today. That is why today is when I’m at my happiest/proudest. It’s because of the culmination of those events and the person that it has created. The athletic scholarships, and professional school acceptances didn’t make me. It was the failures and disappointments that created the Vince that you see today. I’m proud of this Vince, I’m “happy” with this Vince, and that is why today is when I’m happiest w/ my life.

Just a thought

30 Day Challenge Day 7. Your Zodiac sign and do you think it fits your personality.

First I want to apologize for slacking. I had to let @tcoop32 catch up with his blog (at least that's the excuse I'm going to use). If you want to check it out it's Tcoop's Blog.


Well quite honestly I had to do a quick google on the subject today. Going into today I had no idea what Zodiac sign I was. I had even less of an idea about what that Zodiac sign means. Quite honestly even after the google search my care level did not rise that much. To inform all of you, I am a Virgo (big ups to all the Virgo's). I found out today that my love match is a Pisces ( I always knew me and Rhi Rhi were meant to be, lol). In all seriousness I think this whole Zodiac sign thing is a bunch of crap but I will play along to appease the blog. Google says that; "The Virgo personality is a complex mix of intelligence, common sense, attention to detail, and commitment.  This is a down-to-earth sign with a strong sense of responsibility, especially with regard to family and close friends." I think it's a broad all encompassing definition but for the most part, does pretty decent job of describing Mr. Jacobs.
Intelligent-Check
Common Sense -  Check
Attention to Detail - ummm kinda
Commitment (family and close friends) - double check.
I don't really  know where to go with this blog. It's late, I'm tired of yal complaining about me not keeping up with the days so here yah go. I will refocus tomorrow. There are some better topics coming up so I will go in on those more in depth. Have a good one people.

Just a thought.

30 Day Challenge-Day 6. 30 interesting facts about me.

1)      I’m allergic to fish ( I think)

2)      My childhood dream was to be a commercial pilot.

3)      I really want to be chubby at some point in my life.

4)      My personal hygiene could be a lot better.

5)      I’m a brand slave.

6)      There are a lot of rules I just don’t think apply to me, and that I think are extremely stupid.

7)      I enjoyed playing basketball a lot more than football.

8)      My favorite porn star is Naomi Russel

9)      I have no idea how many women I have had sex with in my life.

10)   I’m extremely proud of both of my parents. They are my inspiration.

11)   My favorite show is the fresh prince of bel air.

12)   I think I’m a hell of a friend.

13)   I don’t drive that well when people are in the car w/ me.

14)   I think I have a foot fetish.

15)   I always wanted to play an instrument. Saxophone was my instrument of choice.

16)   I really enjoy being awkwardly tall.

17)   I am extremely lazy. Like it’s a problem.

18)   I have a color complex

19)   Morally, I’m not where I need to be in my life.

20)   Even though I’m admittedly not shit right now, I truly think I’m gonna be a good husband one day

21)   Kanye West is my favorite artist and maybe one of my favorite human beings.

22)   I’m scared to smoke weed.

23)   I’m proud of myself.

24)   I wish my head wasn't so long

25)   I could watch YouTube for hours. (like literally hours)

26)   I really wish I could sing

27)   One of my life goals is to be more successful than my father.

28)   Power is more important than money in my career aspirations

29)   My least favorite body part is my left arm. It’s so little & scrimpy compared to my right arm. I don’t know if my tattoo stunted its growth or what.

30)   I really like sitcoms, like old corny ones like Seinfeld and Frasier.

30 Day Challenge, Day 5. A time you thought about ending your own life.

I want to give this question a really short answer. NEVER. Quite honestly my life thus far has been pretty smooth sailing. Of course there have been bumps along the road and disappointments but nothing to the extinct of wanting to harm myself. I want to make it clear that I’m not judging anyone who has contemplated it, or has even gone through with harming themselves. I understand people handle stress and their problems differently.

I feel like stuff like this occurs mainly during your high school and college years. I don’t remember an inordinate amount of stress during high school and so far in college and post grad (which could be problem.) Back in high school my biggest stress was between seeing what I was ranked in the nation that week and hoping Footaction had my size in the newest J’s. I didn’t really have a lot the normal high school stresses. I didn’t have a particular high school sweet heart to really stress over. I mean I had a girl for little period of time, but there wasn’t really any drama or a tough break up to stress out about. I never really got particularly stressed over academics in high school (as I write this, it makes me think did I care about anything in high school).  My mom made sure I had an academic standard, and my own competiveness kept my grades above par. I had my first athletic scholarship offer the summer going into my junior year, so I realized what my ticket was going to be. I was blessed to have a decent amount of natural cognitive ability to get me over the hump. Beyond grades and girls I can’t think of any other potential stressors for high school. I mean some people worried about being popular and all that stuff. For me it just kind of took care of itself it didn’t really bring stress to me. The thing I cared the most about was sports and yes it had its disappointments, but I wouldn’t count them as stressors. I lost games, I made bad plays and I didn’t get all the recognition I thought I deserved sometimes, but the thing about sports is; you feel like you control all of that by continuing to work. I think most athletes apply that to numerous aspects of their life and its limits the stresses because they feel like the solution to most of those stressful situations is, just work harder.

As college came it had its own unique set of hardships and “stresses”. The intensity of all the things I mentioned just multiplied. Even with that being so I still don’t think I was particularly stressed during undergrad. The only two things that stressed me were not getting enough playing time and a trifflin ass girlfriend. Beyond that I did enough to stay on pace for graduation, on the academic end, and tried to take advantage of my college years on the social end. I mean there was more drama in college and I definitely cared enough about both football and my relationship to potentially be stressed about it, but like I said before, I felt like I was somewhat in control of those situations and had the ability to influence the outcomes. I’m sure there were some particular instances that happened during those four years that worried me more than others, but nothing really stands out.

Post grad has been a totally different story. While not to the extreme of wanting to harm myself, there definitely have been moments that have caused me to increase my dark liquor budget. Last fall was really difficult for me, being in Alabama, ALONE, and hurt (physically and mentally) was just really hard. I think the hardest part was going through it seemingly alone. I appreciate it now. It was good to actually feel the stress and get through it alone, and come out in a good place. (One of my prouder moments, lol) Seriously though, I really haven’t had the most traumatic life thus far. I’m blessed to have both of my parent’s still living and no truly tragic events thus far. These life events have affected a great number of my peers and influenced what their version of this topic would look like. I’m sure the ones who made it through their situation are just as happy as can be, and I’m proud of all of them. I hope I continue to handle life stresses like I have so far and the trials I’ve been through so far have prepared me enough for when life’s true hardships do come.

Just a thought

30 Day Challenge Day 4. Your views on Religion.

30 Day Challenge Day -4. Your views on religion

My views on religion. I really don’t want to go in on this blog. I will say that I was raised in a Christian (Baptist) household. I will be honest; there are some specifics of Christianity that I don’t totally agree with or believe; miracles, 6 days of creation, the rapture, to name a few. I really am not in the mood to go through a history lesson or discuss the logic behind my ideas. I’m just not totally convinced of all of the specifics of the religion. One thing that I’m totally in agreement with is the MORALS Christianity teaches. I agree with the morals that the “stories” of the bible teach. Even if I was a total non believer in everything the bible said my children would be raised in the church, if for nothing else the morals & life lessons they will be taught. I don’t want this to be misconstrued as me saying I am an atheist or something. I won’t go that far. I don’t know if there is some sort of middle ground in the discussion, but if there was I would be at the 50 yard line. I don’t know how to describe what I’m trying to say w/o being too radical or controversial.  To put it simply I appreciate the role a religious background has played in my life & I’m sure it will have a continued role. I appreciate the order it brings to society as a whole. I have no problem with those religions that teach the same essential moral code. I don’t think the variations in beliefs are large enough to warrant Holy Wars & when the beliefs are that serious that is where I have a problem. That’s for a different day.

Just a thought.

The Waiting Game

Would you ever wait on somebody? I don’t mean like wait in the car 20 minutes for somebody who is late coming outside. I mean like wait for someone in a relationship sense. Wait until your paths intertwine again. Is it the most ridiculous thing in the world or the most romantic thing in the world? I know when you think of waiting for someone, you think you have to be in standstill while they live. That’s not what I mean. If the both of you are still in movement and living out your lives in a way that would otherwise be inhibited by the presence of a partner, would it be ok? I guess when I put it like that, it makes no sense. It sounds like total BS to me. But is there ever a situation where waiting is ok? Are you setting yourself up for disappointment? Are you doing the other person a disservice? Is it possible for both people to wait? I think that the only true reason you would wait is because you either think there is only one person made for you or you can’t find anyone better. I, being a firm disbeliever in both of those statements would lend me towards the idea of not being able to do it. Quite honestly, I think I would be offended if someone asked me to wait. It would be like they are putting themselves in a superior position. I feel like once you have the balls to ask someone to do that, all respect in that relationship is gone. It might be even worse when you try to do it indirectly. When you think you have enough clout to just drop in periodically with little snippets of affection to let them know your still there. Isn’t that even more disrespectful? It’s like who the hell do you think you are.   

This little outburst had no true purpose or direction, it was just late and a nigga was a little in his feelings and 140 characters was not enough.

Just a thought.

30 Day Challenge Day 3. Your views on Drugs and Alcohol.

My views on Drugs & Alcohol? I honestly don't group them together. I feel like they have two totally different dangers. I enjoy alcohol, I am deathly afraid of drugs. I honestly did not have my first drink until summer school of my freshman year in college. I've heard this was a bit of a late start. I don't think I lived a particularly sheltered life in high school; I just never really had the urge or pressure to try it. I never really looked at alcohol as a really bad thing. I mean I know it has ruined tons of lives and families and all that good stuff but I’ve personally never frowned upon the activity. I mean I've frowned upon some individuals who can't hold their liquor. I just look at it as one of those things that if you can control your urges and enjoy in moderation it is not that big of a deal. I don't really have a strong opinion about alcohol as I'm sure you can tell. Drugs on the other hand, I just don't know how people get involved in them. I'm terrified of them. I will be honest, I'm not totally innocent here. I dabbled with weed once after the spring game my junior year. My friends who know the story understand why I won't do it again, lol. Seriously though I'm really terrified of the so called "addictive drugs". Like I just feel like if I tried it once I would be hooked for life. Like I won't even as much as smoke a cigarette because of the fear of being hooked forever. I don't think I necessarily have an addictive personality, it's just scary to think that something could have that much of a strangle hold over you. (Besides a woman)

30 Day Challenge, Day-2. Where would you like to be 10 years from now?

Man 10 years from now seems so far away but yet so close. You think about it like it’s such a long time but I remember High school graduation like it was yesterday, and that was a whole 5 years ago. But as far as where I would like to be that’s a hard question. I have my own personal goals as far as achievements go but there is a whole other side to it. I think the most important place I want to be in 10 years is happy. I don’t really care what brings me that happiness. I don’t care if it’s success, if it’s a woman, if it’s children, whatever it is, I just hope I can embrace it. That is really where I wanna be in ten years. A place where I’m wise enough to accept and embrace good things into my life and reject other things. Happiness, among other things is my goal for the next decade.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

30 Day Challenge -Day 1. "Your Current relationship, if single discuss how single life is."

 I’m Single, and I’m cool with it. (Lemme say that 3 more times so I believe it, lol.) In all seriousness though, this single thing is not half bad. Like I mean really being single. Not that “I’m still kinda getting over my ex” kinda single. Not that “I have to watch what I say/do because I don’t wanna hurt anybodies feelings” kinda single. I mean REALLY single. Like you could tweet about a chick leaving her underwear at your house kinda single. I had been deprived of this kind of single for so long. That breaking up knowing your gonna make up isn’t really being single. This kinda single is the kinda single where you can’t blame anybody for being a distraction, for deterring you from your dreams, for ruining your day, this kinda single is awesome. But back to the question at hand, I enjoy the single life. I think I have used it as a time to grow. So far so good on my new year’s resolution to not have a girlfriend in 2011. I might extend that resolution into 2012. It has been good for me. I know that broke some hearts lol, but use this time to get your shit together and we can reconvene in 2013.

30 day Challenge

Gonna try to do this, not good at keeping up with stuff like this but I will try.

The Seventh Commandment

I was doing some reading and also involved in some interesting conversations lately and it got me thinking about the topic of monogamy. I have very strong opinions on the subject. I want to make it clear that I’m not trying to make excuses for infidelity or even suggest that it is something that people should get over, I’m just stating my humble opinion and leaving it at that.

The Double Standard:

I want to start by acknowledging that in my mind there is a double standard. I’m not speaking for all human beings; I’m not even speaking for all males. I think the thoughts on this are specific to the individual. I’ve met girls that have this understanding that “boys will be boys” and to an extent have accepted the idea of potential betrayal. There are also females who feel like any kind of disloyalty is the end all be all of any relationship. This is one of those conversations that you and your partner should have.

From the beginning of time this double standard has existed. In one of those conversations that I was having with a group of friends, a guy said that he being unfaithful was not even a sin. Of course that statement threw the whole room for a loop. His words made me look further into what point he was trying to make. I’m not one to claim to have the bible memorized but I could have sworn that the seventh commandment was “Though shall not commit adultery”. I feel like that was one of the clearest of all the written commandments. I decided to go a little deeper and get a history lesson on how this commandment (law) was perceived in context. The ancient Hebrews in particular had a very restricted understanding of the concept and limited it to just sexual intercourse between a man and a woman who was either already married or at least betrothed. The marital status of the man was irrelevant. Thus, a married man was not guilty of “adultery” for having sex with an unmarried woman. In reality this commandment was not even implemented because of the morality of infidelity it was more so that family lineage’s could be clear and a certain identity of the father of the women’s children was there. This explanation was intriguing to me. It got me thinking was this the beginning of the double standard……….

Nah I think it is deeper than any social construct could create. I think there is inevitability to it all because of the genetic makeup of us all. I have made this argument many times before but I want to reiterate my stance; “Monogamy is not natural”. When I say natural, I mean that if it wasn’t for the social constructs implemented, men would not “naturally” or inherently find one woman and spend his whole life solely with her. My belief is more so that social monogamy does not necessarily imply sexual monogamy. I’m not saying that just because it’s not natural means it’s impossible. I’m just saying to perform this unnatural act will take an unnatural effort. I also want to be clear that “natural” does not imply good. Few people would argue that learning to play the violin is natural; after all, it takes years of dedication and hard work. "Doing what comes naturally" is easy. Any man who is aspiring to genuinely be monogamous is swimming upstream against his evolutionarily biological forces. As I said before I’m not using this idea as excuse for us males to be unfaithful or anything, I’m just serving some food for thought. Anyone who claims that he or she simply isn't "cut out" for monogamy misses the point: No one is. At the same time, no one's biology precludes monogamy either.



Just a thought



"I'm a Michelle looking for a Barack" STFU.

This topic stems from an event at UNC back when Solidad Obrian’s “Black in America” CNN special was just coming out. The topic came up at the event about black relationships and how successful blacks were not ending up together and things of that nature. Of course it turned into a nigga bashing event so I had to stand up and give my piece. A quick synopsis of my comments where; most everything males do is to impress women. We pay attention to what women of our community have placed value on and therefore emulate that to impress the women we adore. The problem is the value system in our community. If smarts and education where valued as much as rims and jewelry, what we strived to attain would change.

Of course this comment had many rebuttals, but I wanted to expand on the idea and just put some thoughts out there. I’m sure you can guess what the first rebuttal was (especially at a school like UNC) from the females. “I value education and a smart guy”. Yeah you say that but show something totally different. Yes I do believe that a lot of those females really did have educational achievements somewhere in there list of traits wanted in their ideal man, but at some point they settled. Somewhere along the line they settled for the flash or thug. A lot of girls love to say they are a “Michelle looking for a Barack”. I understand the comparison but what they need to think about is; Did Michelle go through a “thug phase”? HELL NO. Imagine if Michelle would have settled at some point. Do you think Barack would have associated himself w/ that? Another HELL NO.

It may be true, especially for educated women, that they value education and morals to some extent. I do truly believe that. The problem is that too often they settle. You see too many good girls with the bad guys. It may just be the laws of attraction but in our community, in many ways it is what keeps the cycle going. I can almost promise you that if a dude knew that if he dropped out of high school he would neva eva, eva eva end up with a decent woman, think about how motivated he would be to graduate high school. In some parts of society this scenario is true. In some parts of society men know to get the best women they have to be the most accomplished, smartest men in their community. These demands from the women are what drive certain demographics to greatness. The problem is that brothers see that some of the best and brightest girls of our community being coupled with some of the most undeserving dudes change our focus. This leads me to the next rebuttal I’m sure to receive. “Soon as brothers find success they go to white women”. 

That argument is not as much of a color thing as we like to make it. It’s more of a values thing. A larger portion of white women have stayed the course as to presenting a clear picture of what their values are. You want to be where you feel like your assets are appreciated. I want to emphasize that this is not strictly a color thing, there are plenty of black women who have the same mental makeup. I’m sure when Michelle LaVaughn Robinson was walking around Harvard Law it was obvious that “ain’t shit” nigga’s didn’t have a chance with her, and I’m sure Barack noticed that.

Back when I initially made these comments I was shooting myself in the foot, because I was the jock, or the “nigga who was getting girls for shallow reasons”.  In all honestly though I already liked girls who valued different things. Thankfully for me I was attracted to girls who demanded certain qualities. The girl(s) I wanted, I knew wouldn’t have anything to do with me if I wasn’t doing certain things with my life. I know how shallow this is but honestly trying to get this type of woman has been a lot of my motivation because I know without accomplishing certain things I wouldn't have a chance. The sad thing is the opposite is true in a major portion of the African American community. The women they wanted or the women that they are exposed to, have shown a different set of values. My point of this was to tell the sista’s out there, don’t settle. You are somebody’s motivation and don’t motivate him towards the wrong thing.

Just a thought.

Commentary by @tcoop32

It takes a lot to irk me, but the following comment does: “I’m trying to find my Barack Obama”.  This comment typically comes from “successful black women”.  Yeah, the ones that graduated college, have read a few books, and have created this unrealistic ideology of relationships.  It doesn’t annoy me that Barack Obama is the measuring stick for black men in America.  No, I don’t agree with some of his political decisions, but his ascension from a poor black man to becoming the President of the United States is incredible.  However, I think we, both men and women, are missing a quintessential piece.
 
Every female wants a Barack Obama, but they aren’t a Michelle Robinson Obama.  See, Michelle was a good woman.  More so than anything else, she understood the struggle of being a black man in America, and she Barack with all of his imperfections.  She embraced his smoking habits, his financial woes, etc.  She didn’t have a laundry list of prerequisites for him attain before they became involved.  Women our age haven’t quite matured to this level yet.  When they do, I’m sure they will find their Barack.  And by the way, I love Michelle Obama: maybe not personally, but I love the principles that she applies to her love life…

Average Millionaire

In respects to the recent NFL draft I wanted to talk about some the realities some of my close friends are about to face. With their new found success come new lifestyle expectations. I know this is an exciting time for them and their closest associates but the harsh realities of this life style are in full motion as well. I know we have all heard the wild stats about NFL careers and position they are left in after their playing days are over. USA today says that 78% of all NFL players are divorced, bankrupt or unemployed two years after leaving the game. I’m a believer that a lot of these stats are as circumstantial as an opinion. (I want to establish up front that what I’m presenting is also an opinion, a damn good one though, lol).

Any college player who was a part of a decent college football program has been told the daunting stats of what achieving NFL success will entail. Most of that knowledge goes in one ear and out of the other. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing though. Once you make it to the major college ranks it's impossible not to think that you have a chance. Quite honestly if you spend that much time and dedication with football, you should dream about playing it at its highest level. I think there are two issue that get guys in trouble.

#1 Career expectations.

I’m sure we all remember when we would tell our 1st grade teacher our career goals and the kid who said Pro athlete would always receive that look of apprehension. The proud few who did achieve those dreams can now say “I told yah so”. The only problem is that they should have had a two part answer. With the average NFL career being just 3 season’s these guys are left with a lot of life to live. The amount of confidence needed by an individual to make it to the pros is the same confidence that leads them to believe that they can play forever. I remember at the height of my NFL dreams (yeah I had them too, lol) my dad would always say, “look at it as a jump start to your life, not as your entire life.” What he meant by that was if the opportunity comes it will just be a jump start to your professional life, Instead of coming out of school making $60,000 you will come out making $330,000 for a few years. That thought process not only saves you from putting lifetime expectations on your pro earnings but also prepares you for the circumstance that you don’t make it. The sad truth is that 55% of NFL careers last < 3 years. So that’s 3 years of income. Sadly in a lot of cases guys will spend the next two years dwindling their savings training and preparing for another chance to get back into the league. I know most people are like “still Vince that’s $330,000 a year” and I agree that is a substantial amount of money, but the riches of the average NFL player are so misconstrued. That leads into what I think is the second issue that gets guys in trouble.

#2 Living up to lifestyle expectations.

The societal pressure for NFL players to live a certain lifestyle is astronomical (especially the African American ones). The biggest societal misconception is that everyone in an NFL jersey is a millionaire. That is far from the truth. The families of most of these NFL guys think that NFL contract is going to be able to buy momma a new house and rebuild the local church. The average player can’t dream of affording that, but they sure will pretend. When people see the fortunes of the top players they automatically apply that to the whole profession. While to most of society that $330,000 league minimum is an enormous figure, but when you’re living a million dollar lifestyle it doesn’t stretch that far. When you take a closer look at that salary the figure becomes even less impressive. First off that salary is made in an 18 week time scale compared to 52 weeks like most jobs. In some states that rookie salary is taxed like they earn 500,000 over the course of the year which takes off an even greater chunk of their money. It takes a tremendous amount of maturity and responsibility to ration that pay to last for the whole year. I can barely budget being paid once a month I couldn’t imagine stretching 18 weeks of pay to 52 weeks of living. My point is that the lifestyle pressures of these guys influence’s there budget more than anything and ultimately is a huge contributor to the daunting stat I mentioned up top.

With all that being said the point of this was to let all the gold diggers know, it would be wise for you all to just go get a job. It’s not worth the trouble, lol.

Just a thought

N.A.S.

Nigga’s ain’t Shit. Yeah your right, we’re not. Whenever I get a chance to ask a chick why she says N.A.S., the answer is rarely the same, but it does have one overwhelming theme; Disappointment. That is why I hold a little bit of compassion. (Granted the blanket statement of Nigga’s ain’t Shit is not the best way to voice your frustration or disappointment.) Understanding their frustrations is where my compassion ends. I hold no compassion for the disappointments themselves. Disappointments only come from your expectations not being lived up to. One thing about “niggas” is we are not good at keeping up a façade for a long time. We always show you who we are eventually. Most females are just blind to it, and/or don’t want to see it.

The first problem is a lot of girls build their expectations within the first 3 or 4 conversations. How is that even possible? DON'T start making assumptions. Don't assume that just because he has nice clothes, a nice car, a good job, nice crib, and all that, he WOULDN'T be an aint shit nigga. Expectations should arrive gradually. When you build those expectations at the beginning you naturally make yourself blind to the individual showing you their true colors. Those true colors are where your expectations should come from. I know a lot of girl are like “Why don’t they just show their true colors up front?” I don’t know the answer to that question? I told you we ain’t shit.

Problem number two is falling into the same pattern of behavior. Whether it’s going to the same places to meet people, or dating within the same social circles, or hooking up with the same type of dude, it’s all insane. I mean that in the most literal of ways. It truly is idiotic to do the same things and expect different results.

Let’s think about it for a second. IF you go to the club, meet a guy, and he turns out to be an idiot, what do you do? Go RIGHT back to the same club and meet the other guy you thought was cute. Insane right?

How about you hook up with dude, it doesn’t work out, and the next thing you know, you are rolling with his friend…… Insanity

(Do you know WHY I hang out with the dudes I hang out with? BECAUSE THEY ARE LIKE ME!!!!! WE HAVE COMMON INTERESTS!!! Which means, if HE is an idiot, so is his damn friend!!!!....)

I am an advocate of people having a type or a set of standards. BUT if you have been hurt before and you always end up with the same type of dude and your taste hasn’t developed then yeah, you guessed it……INSANE.

Date outside of your comfort zone. You don’t have to marry the dude just get out a lil bit. See what else is around. If you always date the same kind of person you don’t really know what you REALLY enjoy.

I know this was no dissertation but I wanted to give my quick 2 cents on the debate. You know I couldn’t be left out. I know I didn’t take any of the blame for our faults but trying to figure out why “niggas” do what we do would take a team of psychiatrists. I was just trying to give a little insight as to why some of yal keep running into so called “ain’t shit niggas” it’s simply because we all are not shit to some extent. Just open your eyes and see who you’re truly dealing with and that will save everyone a lot of disappointment.

If you're not the one, you're the Prototype. *2011 edition*

Even though I’m only 10 months into it, dating post undergrad is a scary scene. Not that it’s more difficult (it’s actually quite a bit easier), it’s just the pressure of the situation now. There are no for play-play relationships after graduation. It gets real, quick. Being in a relationship post graduation takes on an entirely new meanin. The dynamics of attraction have changed. Back in undergrad there were a lot more superficial reason’s to date people. Needless to say, a lot of that disappears upon graduation.


I don’t wanna get to far away from my intentions for writing this. Back when I was a sophomore I made this childish facebook album (Link) about my prototypical girl. Looking back I admit it was immature, especially how superficial it was. While the content of the album was childish I do not disagree with having a set of standards/expectations. I’m going to try to re-examine mine from a more mature stance for my 2011 edition. To stick with the mature theme, I’m going to try to stray away from physical attributes as much as possible. Here we go;

1) Class

A lot of people like to say education, I disagree. There is a big difference between the two. There are a lot of educated women who lack the basics of class. There is a social education process, which has a lot to do with what you are exposed to, that is extremely valuable as well. A lack of class is the easiest way for an educated person to come across as ignorant. As you grow and mature you begin to value being around cultivated and tasteful people, and that extends to choosing a partner.

2) Achievements so far.

A lot of females like to say they want a dude with goals. That’s all fine and good, but plenty of people go broke betting on potential. I know we are all young adults and have plenty room to grow and mature. With that said by the time we graduate undergrad there is a certain amount of things you should have in order for your stated “goals” to hold value.

3) Respectable Track Record

With this I don’t mean your sex number. I’m over that. What I mean is the kind of dudes you have been associated with. You could be one of the most put together girls around but we always see your always associated with some ain’t shit dude, it’s a turn off. Females don’t realize how much attention we really pay to the quality of dudes you’ve allowed yourself to be associated with. There have been females who have had it all but I’ve been turned off because I don’t wanna become a part of that weak ass past boyfriend fraternity. For example, females always wonder why the basketball wives always bounce back with another balla. It’s because of the company they keep. Dudes see that she associates herself with high quality individuals and believe it or not we appreciate having a girl that other dudes we respect hold with high esteem.

4) Humble

I know this word is gonna ruffle a few feathers, especially from my “Successful Black Females”. To be clear I don’t mean subservient or submissive when I say humble. This is one of those attributes that I really have trouble explaining but it’s so important. I mean humble in interactions with your partner. That kinda “you mean the world to me”  feeling someone can give you by how they act. A lot of prominent women won’t succumb to that sort of attitude, but please believe that us males like to have the comfort of knowing we mean the world to you, also.

5) Loyal

Prove that you can stay instead of proving you will leave.

Just a thought

NPHC is a Step Back

Written By: Vince Jacobs and Taikein Cooper

*Disclaimer* This in no way is a Greek hate entry. I really respect the things the NPHC has done in the past for African Americans and understand the pride members take in their organizations. I respect the process, and all individuals involved. Both of my parents are proud NPHC members (Alabama A&M). When I say PWI throughout this entry I mean major (BCS conference) colleges, not necessarily the literal definition.
                   With that being said, I feel like the NPHC has no place at PWI’s.  I can understand the importance of these organizations on black campuses. From an outside opinion, Greeks, especially at black schools are the elites of their campus. Socially they are the top of the food chain, and the members are from every aspect of campus.  These are racially distinct organizations on racially specific campuses.

This is a different story at PWI’s. In contrast the NPHC at PWI’s is a very isolated part of the community especially among upperclassmen. Compared to HBCU’s where the whole community embraces these organizations. At PWI’s the majority of campus don’t even understand or recognize these groups. The NPHC hasn’t been able to integrate itself into the community at large and that is where it has failed. In order to be associated with this organization you have to essentially isolate yourself from campus, where at an HBCU the campus embraces these organizations as leaders and cornerstones of the community.

 As African Americans have expanded their presence on these major campuses they have decided to bring traditions from HBCU’s with them. Was this really necessary? I agree that we should make sure we have a presence on campus and our culture should be represented, but why would we segregate ourselves. Why not use some of these students to try to diversify some of the more notable campus wide organizations. Where we are truly being seen, heard, and respected by the campus at large. If you want to be a part of an exclusive group why limit yourself to the confines of just the African American campus. Can an organization where only an eighth of the campus would be interested in applying truly be considered “exclusive”? Why not use this opportunity to prove yourself exclusive to the community at large. The neighborhood HBCU down the street is not who you’re competing with. It seems like that’s who we are trying to impress.

When you are accepted into one the top schools in your given state you have already proven your elite status. If you are a student at one these schools you are an elite student, if you are an athlete at one of these schools you are an elite athlete, etc. Being a black student at these Universities already proves that you are elite, you don’t have to separate yourself from the general population to prove that. It’s now time to prove yourself against a larger pond. Being at a PWI gives you a four year head start in assimilating into American culture. This opportunity gives you the chance to understand and succeed at being a minority in a competitive atmosphere. Why waste that chance by joining a segregated group.

NPHC Greeks at PWI’s are not considered elite by their peers. Yes there is a selection process, but when the best of the best don’t apply can the organization really be considered elite. It may be the best of a small clique but not the best of the whole.

@TCOOP32

At the end of the day it comes down to what we value.  My people, value the wrong things.  We value things that in the grand scheme of things mean absolutely nothing in the real world, while our Caucasian counterparts value things that will help them get ahead.  This is why white fraternities and sororities leave their Greek life in college. You will NEVER see a white person with a Greek license plate unless it is Phi Theta Kappa which is the honor society.  We all know that my people throw their respected organization on their license plates cover, while white people put their respected alma maters on theirs.

My problem with NPHC is the same problem I have with HBCUs…they are systematically creating this fantasy world of what the real world looks like.  As an outsider (and correct me if I’m misinformed), it seems that NPHC and HBCUs foster this idea of black independence and isolation from “the man”, but we all know this is untrue in the real world.  The real world is a mirror image of what HBCUs and NPHC promotes. Frankly, I feel that NPHC at PWI’s have an antiquated purpose.  During the 60s and 70s, they played an integral role in inclusion.  In 2011, it’s a means to separate us once again.  Furthermore, if you plan to participate, leave it in college, don’t be strolling in grown folks events!!

Just a Thought

Fear of Diversity.

"We as a people have been exposed to this small box. Your passion and destiny lies in this small box. The reality is that sometimes you miss your passion because you haven’t been exposed to that thing that will spark what it is that you are supposed to be doing." - Jeff Johnson

I know a lot of my blogs have mentioned the idea of exposure, but in the African American community it’s so important, and currently the lack of it has been so detrimental. I honestly may be overestimating the value of exposure but I honestly think it broadens thoughts and expands our ideas.

Since I’ve been back in Charlotte, between school and just catching up with people I’ve had the most random conversations. We always come around to what they are doing now and what they are planning on doing in the future. During those conversations, it’s so apparent how small/large peoples “box of exposure” is. The interesting thing is the size of individuals boxes are not solely based on education. I encountered just as many narrow minded people in Grad school classrooms as I have in the streets of Charlotte. Now-a-days you have just as many rappers coming out Dorm rooms as Project Hall ways. My point is that we as African Americans aren’t using education as an opportunity to expose ourselves to the world at large. As more and more of us fill campuses of higher education, I feel like we are using it as a Handicap. When there was just a few of us we were forced to get out of our comfort zone and expose ourselves to a different demographic. Now many of us waste that opportunity (especially at PWI’s) and concede into our comfort zone.

I know this is getting to be a little race sensitive, but my father, who grew up in rural Mississippi always wanted me to be able to have white friends, have the ability to look at them as associates. He said growing up all he ever knew whites as was in a superior position. Whether it was white teachers in Primary School, White Coaches on his high school team, up to White supervisors at work, the only thing he knew was whites in authority. He said, him and so many of his friends didn’t even really know how to communicate with whites. It was almost a fear they had in general conversation. It wasn’t until my dad was in corporate America, and essentially forced to have these comrades that he was exposed to this new world. I think I get these ideas of diversity from my parents being raised during the civil rights era in Mississippi and Alabama, respectively.

This idea of exposure isn’t reserved only to those brought up during the civil rights south. This discomfort is alive in 2011. I have friends (some college educated) who to this day are uncomfortable talking to even the most pedestrian of white America. I don’t know where this discomfort comes from. I don’t know if it’s an inert fear, or a fear of the unfamiliar, but it’s evident in those who are unexposed.

I apologies for how off topic this became and the rambling that ensued. These are the thoughts that came out and the direction this topic went, lol.

Just a thought.

Big Vince's favorite Youtube Artist.

I know I'm not the only one who can get distracted for hours just watching youtube videos. I tend to watch alot of webcam artist cover popular songs. I just enjoy hearing the different takes on popular songs and hear the creativity. Here are some of my favorite Youtube artist.

This chick is by far my favorite, I think she is from some where in VA, but she has an amazing voice and always puts a creative twist to her songs.  Her Youtube name is anhaylarene‬‏, you should check her out.

Since she is my favorite I will give you a double dose;

Don't really know that much about this chick other than she can sing. Pleasant surprise;

YouTube Name: ToriKelley

This Dude was on American Idol at one point, but I put him on here strictly because of creativity. He makes some cool creative videos. I'm sure he will have a commercial deal coming soon enough. Youtube name: TodrickHall

This guy is pretty talented. I mean he's kinda soft but I guess that doesn't take away from his talent. Check em out; MynameisJsun

Just a thought.