I want to give this question a really short answer. NEVER. Quite honestly my life thus far has been pretty smooth sailing. Of course there have been bumps along the road and disappointments but nothing to the extinct of wanting to harm myself. I want to make it clear that I’m not judging anyone who has contemplated it, or has even gone through with harming themselves. I understand people handle stress and their problems differently.
I feel like stuff like this occurs mainly during your high school and college years. I don’t remember an inordinate amount of stress during high school and so far in college and post grad (which could be problem.) Back in high school my biggest stress was between seeing what I was ranked in the nation that week and hoping Footaction had my size in the newest J’s. I didn’t really have a lot the normal high school stresses. I didn’t have a particular high school sweet heart to really stress over. I mean I had a girl for little period of time, but there wasn’t really any drama or a tough break up to stress out about. I never really got particularly stressed over academics in high school (as I write this, it makes me think did I care about anything in high school). My mom made sure I had an academic standard, and my own competiveness kept my grades above par. I had my first athletic scholarship offer the summer going into my junior year, so I realized what my ticket was going to be. I was blessed to have a decent amount of natural cognitive ability to get me over the hump. Beyond grades and girls I can’t think of any other potential stressors for high school. I mean some people worried about being popular and all that stuff. For me it just kind of took care of itself it didn’t really bring stress to me. The thing I cared the most about was sports and yes it had its disappointments, but I wouldn’t count them as stressors. I lost games, I made bad plays and I didn’t get all the recognition I thought I deserved sometimes, but the thing about sports is; you feel like you control all of that by continuing to work. I think most athletes apply that to numerous aspects of their life and its limits the stresses because they feel like the solution to most of those stressful situations is, just work harder.
As college came it had its own unique set of hardships and “stresses”. The intensity of all the things I mentioned just multiplied. Even with that being so I still don’t think I was particularly stressed during undergrad. The only two things that stressed me were not getting enough playing time and a trifflin ass girlfriend. Beyond that I did enough to stay on pace for graduation, on the academic end, and tried to take advantage of my college years on the social end. I mean there was more drama in college and I definitely cared enough about both football and my relationship to potentially be stressed about it, but like I said before, I felt like I was somewhat in control of those situations and had the ability to influence the outcomes. I’m sure there were some particular instances that happened during those four years that worried me more than others, but nothing really stands out.
Post grad has been a totally different story. While not to the extreme of wanting to harm myself, there definitely have been moments that have caused me to increase my dark liquor budget. Last fall was really difficult for me, being in Alabama, ALONE, and hurt (physically and mentally) was just really hard. I think the hardest part was going through it seemingly alone. I appreciate it now. It was good to actually feel the stress and get through it alone, and come out in a good place. (One of my prouder moments, lol) Seriously though, I really haven’t had the most traumatic life thus far. I’m blessed to have both of my parent’s still living and no truly tragic events thus far. These life events have affected a great number of my peers and influenced what their version of this topic would look like. I’m sure the ones who made it through their situation are just as happy as can be, and I’m proud of all of them. I hope I continue to handle life stresses like I have so far and the trials I’ve been through so far have prepared me enough for when life’s true hardships do come.
Just a thought
No comments:
Post a Comment